Compassion Fatigue and Caregivers
Let's talk about compassion fatigue. After a brief overview of the different facets of compassion fatigue, I'm going to speak from my own personal experience and offer ways to prevent it from developing. Read on to find out more.
What is compassion fatigue?
It's when caregivers and healthcare professionals working with serious illnesses and death become so exhausted and affected by witnessing what is going on with their client or loved one, that they can no longer find it in themselves to be present in a compassionate and loving way. It is a combination of caregiver burnout and secondary stress. This happens!
For instance, any helping professionals regularly hearing traumatic or upsetting stories, being exposed visually and experientially to the result of traumatic or violent injuries, or being with their clients or patients during emotionally charged moments or high-stress times (a very common occurrence), are susceptible to developing compassion fatigue. This can also result if clients or their family members are combative, threatening or going through severe mental distress or mental health issues or the location of service itself is a high-violence area.
Working with loss of any kind, including death, and grief in general has been linked to episodes of compassion fatigue. This is doubled when helping someone that is going through the loss of a child or caring for the child him/herself and interacting with the family. The experience of compassion fatigue can also be exacerbated by working long hours in a short period of time, which is inherent when helping a client or family through death vigil or after release from the hospital.
Because of our inherent susceptibility due to the nature of our work, it's really important for end-of-life doulas and grief specialists to be able to recognize the signs of compassion fatigue and have some resourcing in place for how to recharge and process. It's also key that we have measures in place for when we may need to take extended periods off. Compassion fatigue is real. It's happened to me, caring for my husband Jonathan with Alzheimer's. It happens to people that I know who are working in the field. So what do we do about that?
Why Addressing Compassion Fatigue Is Important
Right now, I'm walking in the middle of the woods. I'm spending fifteen minutes, because that's all I have. I need to go back home. I need to cook the meals. I need to make sure all the medications are in the right locations. I need to make sure he has everything that he needs in order to be peaceful and comfortable.
At the end of the day, we want our loved ones and the people that we're caring for to be able to feel secure, safe, and like I say a lot, be able to be seen and heard - regardless of what their condition is, regardless of if they don't remember who you are, regardless of if they have another terminal illness. This is vital, because intuitively the individual knows that, senses it. They know when someone is there to care for them.
It's also essential that the caregiver has adequate health and wellbeing to be able to show up and properly care for the individual. If they are overly fatigued or stressed, that's when mistakes, sometimes very grave oversights, can take place.
What to Do about Compassion Fatigue
So, how do we deal with compassion fatigue? Firstly, if you have developed full-blown compassion fatigue, you will likely need some extended time away to recuperate and probably some counseling or therapy, if you are not already seeking psychological support. That said, by being aware of the symptoms and causes, you can work to mitigate its development by engaging in regular acts of self-care and self-protection. Here are a few ways that help me fill up my cup little bits throughout the day, so that I have enough to give to others.
Take Time to Yourself
Like I said, you take the time to yourself. Even if it's five minutes. Find ways throughout your day to offer a reset. It might be jamming out to your favorite song, perhaps even dancing unto abandon. This can be just sitting in a quiet place for a few minutes. Many of the ideas suggested below can also be used to fill that time for yourself, like…
Breathwork
You can do traditional pranayama or more modern breathwork - which can have HUGE effects. Breath is our life force. In order to bring the energy back into our brains, back into our hearts, back into our bodies, we need to be able to have that fresh air.
There are many studies showing its ability to affect the nervous system, cardiovascular system and other mechanisms of the body to bring about different states. Are you paying attention to your breath? Perhaps you're holding it, breathing rapidly, in your upper chest or it is irregular. All of these things can contribute to depleted energy, a feeling of anxiousness or frenetic energy, and in general result in you not being grounded, calm(er) and present.
Self-Care
For caregivers in the home, maybe it is that YOU are taking care of yourself. Perhaps you are soaking your feet. Maybe you need to do this while you're massaging your loved one's feet. But that rejuvenates us - you put a little bit of Himalayan salt at the bottom of it, any aromatherapy scent that brings you joy and comfort. While you're there serving the one, you're also there serving yourself.
If you don't enjoy soaking your feet, think of any other bite-sizeable, short and easy acts of self-care that you can regularly set yourself up for throughout the day. It might be investing in a pressure point or massage mat, pillow or electronic seat cover, so that you can just fully let go and feel some relief wherever you are.
Self-care also extends to the overall way that you tend to your needs and wants. Building in adequate time for sleep, nourishing meals, social interactions that recharge you as opposed to drain you and movement you enjoy are all essential.
Find Ways to Connect to Your Source
Connecting with your spirit, whether you're a religious person or not. Your spirit is who you are. That can be nourished through breathwork. That can also be nourished by just sitting still and doing something that you enjoy - whether it's reading your good book, whether it's really just sitting in silence. Sometimes we just need a break.
Taking a moment to recognize things you appreciate and are grateful for can also bring a sense of relief, perspective and grounding in the present. Reflecting on the universality of difficulty, pain and suffering, seeing them as part of the human condition and working on acceptance of the fact that sometimes our own difficulties and those of others may be beyond our control can also help you find some peace and resolve.
This is especially relevant, as sometimes compassion fatigue can be caused by a caregiver feeling that they have to solve and alleviate everything for the person. Instead of fixating on all the things they can't really change, it can be helpful to recognize the things they can realistically and healthily do for themselves and others.
Seek Work/Life Balance
Oftentimes, this is easier said than done, especially when you are caring for a loved one or are in the midst of helping a client through a death vigil. However, if you are working as a helping professional, you can build this in by taking regular breaks in between clients or having a cohort of back-up doulas or grief specialists that can act in your place if you're really needing a day or two off. If you are caring for a loved one, an end-of-life doula can be the perfect option to allow you to begin to take some time for yourself, all while knowing that the person you care about is in professional, compassionate hands.
This balance also comes into play in setting boundaries on your time and mental energy. It's important to allow yourself some temporal and mental space to NOT think of the person you're caring for. If you're a helping professional, this can look like setting clear parameters on speaking about, planning for or thinking of your client. This can also mean cutting down on upsetting, violent or traumatic images, stories, movies and other media and personal shared accounts when you're caring for someone that is causing heavy secondary stress.
Caregiver Recognition
In closing, I want to recognize all the caregivers out there, all the healthcare workers, all of those who are caring from a distance. Maybe it's not their family, they're not a healthcare professional, but they see it from a distance. They are there to support and love their friends in a way that sometimes can be very difficult. These people matter too.
If you feel like any of these suggestions helped you, or if you have any additional ideas or know of mental health professionals that support caregivers and helping professionals experiencing compassion fatigue, please comment below. Let's make this post a resource for people like us!
